Can team management be taught? Can we all develop into amazing leaders who are respected and revered by everyone they lead? Or are we making mistakes that cause confusion and instability in the team. While we can be taught how to manage our work, leading a team is a purely on the job learning. This learning depends on the age, attitude and adaptability of our team members and continues throughout our work life.

As someone who has been handling a team for some years now, there were many on the job learnings. Being friendly with the team, winning their trust, pushing them to achieve work challenges to name just a few. Coupled with being in Human Resources gives an added exposure to the team handling skills of others in the company too. Of all the facets to be looked into while handling a team, something rarely discussed is being discreet. You can be friends with your team but cannot treat them as your friends.

During one of the HR learning sessions I got a chance to attend, a fellow participant raised an interesting issue. She had joined a new company for a purely talent acquisition role. She was to focus on building up the Business Development team for a new product. During the session, she raised a query on how to work with conviction even if we know that our team will be asked to leave the company within a few years. “How can we hire people whom we know will get fired, maybe not this year but soon?”

This got me thinking; as a part of the HR team, it’s our job to convince people to join the organisation. For us to resonate this conviction, we need to be sure about ourselves and have belief in the role and the company. I could understand the source of her anxiety and felt for her.

However, from here onwards the session took a slightly different turn. The trainer, instead of focussing on her dilemma questioned her to reach at the source of her query. Further analysis revealed that she was associating herself with the internal queries raised by her Department Head who was also her immediate supervisor. We realised there had been a similar product launched by the company and a similar team hired a few years back. This had apparently not been successful and the entire team had been disbanded. During the course of the conversation, we realised her Department Head was clinging to his own belief based on his earlier experience within the same company and being quite vocal about it too.

Our trainer empathised with the participant and opined that it’s normal to feel confused. “As HR professionals, we are responsible for the people we recruit. If we ourselves are not convinced, it would be difficult to convince others about joining the company.”

Globally, jobs are associated with the self-worth of an individual and firing someone has deep level connotations and associations for the individual and their families. As HR, we all feel the weight of the decision to fire. We have all been there and believe me it’s not easy. However, the trainer brought out another side to the story. He asked my fellow participant what her sentiments were during her interactions with the business head in charge of this new team, “Was he motivated? Was he convinced? Was the new team managing well?” After a brief reflection, she gave a positive feedback. “Although the team was new, the results were looking good.” He asked her to focus on that. “You can’t begin something new waiting for it to fail.”

Guidance from an expert

What was said next changed my perspective. As per him, the reason for her confusion was actually her department head. The trainer further queried, “When the decision making process was taking place regarding the product and the new hires, was your Department Head a part of this select group. Did he or did he not have a chance to share his thoughts?” Either way, as per our trainer, that was the time and the group in which he should have highlighted his concerns and raised doubts. As a manager who is privy to the decision process, he should not have shared his doubts with a junior. This was the wrong audience.

Don’t we all see this happening around us? Many managers share their doubts and misgivings about the company, the senior management, the role, the products and services with their juniors. These juniors have absolutely no say in making a change. If as seniors they themselves were unable to bring about a change, they have no right in unburdening their thoughts and inculcating their doubts onto others, especially to those junior to them. These discussions are better suited with their seniors or in some cases with colleagues at a similar level to them or who are directly involved in the decision making process.

Employees working in close quarters with their team managers end up trusting them and form close bonds. Most especially when the same manager is someone they look up to and respect. The uncertainty which is shared by their seniors just ends up with the employee feeling confused and with no understanding as to the cause. When questioned they always say how much they respect and admire their team manager but are never able to pin point just what makes them confused or uncertain.

My guess is that employees who are currently at senior level positions still associate themselves as being the same person they were at the start of their career. While being friends with junior team members is good, there needs to be a filter with what can or cannot be shared. At a senior level, they will always be privy to certain information that cannot be shared with all. Also their thoughts and opinions are based on their long years of experience and would not be understood by others less experienced than them.

Incidentally, it’s been 6 – 7 years since that HR learning session. As per latest feedback, that team hired long ago is still active and doing well. Hence the concerns raised then by the Department Head can now be seen to his personal opinion only. This was obviously not the view of the company.

It’s good to be friendly but it’s important to understand the imaginary line that exists between a manager and his or her subordinates. While it’s essential to know what to talk, when to talk and how to talk, it’s of more importance what not to talk. When to keep quiet. To maintain the dignity of the position.

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